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发表于 2010-1-30 22:38
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本帖最后由 破折号王子 于 2010-1-30 22:41 编辑
Pro Bowl? It's more like Pro Bore
When I was a kid, I would desperately root for the AFC to win thePro Bowl. Well, OK, I'm exaggerating a touch. The adjective"desperately" is too strong. I wasn't painting "AFC" on the side of myface or anything. I did care, though. I honestly cared. I can rememberfeeling happy when the AFC scored, unhappy when the NFC scored. I canremember, late in games, going through those mental gymnastics fans dowhen watching games and figuring what their team needs to do to win thegame. It mattered.
Then, I suppose everything mattered whenI was a kid. It mattered that the Globetrotters won on Wide World ofSports*. It mattered that Evel Knievel made his jump. It mattered who won the Superstars competition. It even mattered who won on Battle of the Network Stars. That Patrick Duffy ... what an athlete. But you could not never count out the competitive spirit of Robert Conrad.
*AndI can remember feeling frustrated because Howard Cosell or whoever wascalling the game would not give the score often enough. Were theGenerals coming back?
I would watch the Pro Bowl withinterest and passion -- Go AFC! -- until I realized that I had moreinterest and passion in these games than the players. I suppose I cameto that realization when I was about 13 years old. When you care morethan the players do, the event became pointless. And after that, thePro Bowl became more or less pointless to me. I might watch. I mightnot. But it never again mattered.
It's interesting: All-Stargames in every sport are always teetering on the brink of oblivion. Theothers use little tricks to make us care more.
Baseball'sAll-Star Game, for instance, was interesting for many years because ofthe complete separation of the two leagues. The All-Star Game was theone place where you could see Ted Williams face Warren Spahn (home run! Mickey Mantle follows with a homer too!) or Sandy Koufax pitch to Al Kaline(pop foul out to first -- overpowered him). Interleague play and easytravel between the two leagues took away some of this thrill, butthere's still some separation between the leagues and there is at leasta hint of meaning in the games. Even if the value has diminished,players would still rather win than lose the All-Star Game.
TheNBA All-Star Game -- and to only a slightly lesser extent, the NHLAll-Star Game -- are shows. No defense. No coaching. Lots of dunks andbreakaways. No, nobody cares who wins, but they go around this bymaking it into a laser show. It's sensory overload, but there is somefun in that. No, it's not emotionally riveting, but it can get youthrough the day.
But the Pro Bowl really could not offer anyof those things. The AFC and NFC do not have much separation. Theplayers don't care who wins -- and football is such a physical game,that caring who wins pretty much defines the game. That's whyexhibition football is the single most boring thing on earth. Footballon television is not really a game of matchups -- most of us are notreally spending a lot of our time wondering how Jordan Gross will block Dwight Freeney.And, anyway, football -- probably more than any of those other sports-- is a game of teamwork and timing and repetition. The other gamesallow the players the freedom to show off their athleticism and skill.Football ... not so much. And the Pro Bowls tend to be dull beyondwords.
To me, the one thing the Pro Bowl had was ... Hawaii.We all love Hawaii, right? And that gave the game a little extraromance. Players, in general, liked going to the Pro Bowl because itmeant taking their families and teammates to Hawaii. It was a reward.The coaches and announcers would wear Hawaiian shirts. The playerswould hang out on the beach after light practices. Everyone would eatuntil overload. There were television shots of hula dancers andvolcanoes and surfers and palm trees and all sorts of beautiful stuff.It was our visit to Hawaii.
Sure, even with Hawaii the ProBowl was the least interesting and meaningful of any All-Star game. Andevery so often, you would hear ideas about how to make the Pro Bowlbetter -- and I guess by "better" they meant "more profitable" -- butit seemed to me the Pro Bowl did not have much potential to GET better.It was what it was: a fun reward for the players who would party allweek and television viewers buried in two feet of snow. And the bigidea was for nobody to get hurt*.
*I have told this story before ... but I cannot write about the Pro Bowl without telling my favorite Bill Belichickstory. People have often asked: What is it that makes Belichick so goodat this coaching thing? Sure, he's brilliant about breaking down filmand devising a gameplan that attacks another team's weaknesses. Sure,he's all about winning -- and as such has not allowed loyalty (Sorryson, we're letting you go), tradition (Fourth and two -- go for it) orgood taste (Are those cameras pointing right at the sidelines?) tomuddle the mission.
But there's something else -- something harder to describe. Tony Gonzalezwas in the Pro Bowl every year from 1999 to 2008. He is, in my view,the best pass-catching tight end in NFL history. Tony -- and I say thiswith a great deal of affection -- is also very Hollywood. Oh, he playshard and he blocks and he will get dirty if necessary. But he alsoinvented this new position: The glamour tight end. He co-wrote a dietbook. He worked with Oprah. He's friends with the Naked Chef. And so on.
So... he was at the Pro Bowl and Belichick was coaching (unhappily, nodoubt -- the Pro Bowl coach is the one who LOST the Championship Game)and he put Gonzalez on special teams. Well, that's part of the dealwith the Pro Bowl -- stars have to play on special teams. So Gonzalezwas going through the motions on special teams, like Pro Bowlers do. Hewasn't about to get hurt blocking someone at a Pro Bowl -- everyoneunderstood the rules. Well, Gonzalez thought everyone understood therules. He was walking off the field and Belichick says: "Why don't you(bleeping) block somebody, Gonzalez?"
Gonzalez lookedback at the man. Was he serious? He looked serious. Wait, WAS HESERIOUS? Tony Gonzalez, playing in his eighth consecutive pro Bowl, andthis guy was telling him to block somebody on special teams. He had tobe joking. No, seriously, he HAD TO BE JOKING.
But hewas not joking. Gonzalez was furious. He fumed on the sideline. Howdare this man -- HOW DARE THIS MAN -- yell at him, curse at him, who inthe hell did he think he was? And on the next kickoff, Gonzalez wasstill raging -- HOW DARE THIS MAN -- and the ball went over his head,and he found an opponent, and he crushed the guy, absolutely pancakedhis guy. And then Gonzalez made sure, absolutely sure, to walk by BillBelichick, that SOB, and Belichick did not say a word, not a singleword, and Gonzalez thought: "Yeah, that's right." And just as he wasalmost out of range, he heard Belichick say: "Nice block."
Andthen he knew -- he had been utterly manipulated by the master. And howdid he feel about it? Well: "I felt really good," Gonzalez saidsheepishly.
You know, if we could see stuff like THIS happening, the Pro Bowl might be a lot more fun to watch.
So,we know what the Pro Bowl meant in Hawaii. It was a reward for players.And it was fairly exotic for fans. No, that did not make it must-seeTV, but I just don't think Pro Bowl can ever be must-see TV -- notunless they come up with some sort of crazy idea like:
1. Give some ridiculous sum of money to the winners (million dollars a player) and nothing to the losers.
2. Have Pro Bowlers face off against college football's national champion.
3. Give each team only eight plays, and let fans who love the old "Tecmo Super Bowl" coach each side.
4. Make it USA vs. Canada and play with a 55-yard line and big end zones.
Butthe NFL instead decided to do something much more bizarre. First, theytook the game out of Hawaii and put it in the Super Bowl town -- Miami,this year -- thus taking away the exotic nature of the game and anyreason that the players would want to play. Oh, ow, I think I tweakedmy hammy. Yeah, thanks for the invite. Don't think I can make it.
Second,they moved the game to the week before the Super Bowl -- thus takingout all the players who are actually playing in the Super Bowl. Heykids, how about a Pro Bowl without Peyton Manning and Drew Brees? Sound like fun?
Third ... where are the hula dancers? How can I have a Pro Bowl without hula dancers?
Oh,maybe the timing of the game will punch up the ratings ... I don't knowenough about the TV side of it. Maybe some accountants will find thatthe game makes a few more bucks. Maybe.
But, from here, itseems to me they took a flawed game and made it significantly worse.They took a game already without much star power and took away its starpower. They took something that was at least unique and stripped itdown so that it's now both boring AND commonplace. Yes, I'll admit, ithas been a long time since I cared about the Pro Bowl as anything morethan a novelty. But now I don't even care about it as that. Hey, look,I get to see Matt Schaub and Aaron Rodgers play in a meaningless game in Miami? Really? What time is that on? Because there will have to be some golf on somewhere.
点评:任何一场双方没有求胜欲,没有激烈的碰撞和对抗,而纯粹只是走个过场的作秀比赛都是鸡肋(慈善类比赛除外),就算你堆砌了再多明星也没用。。。与SB相比,pro bowl甚至连开胃小菜都算不上。
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2010/writers/joe_posnanski/01/29/probowl/index.html |
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